“I don’t want to go down that road again.” These were the words one of my coaches said today after telling me about a panic attack she had earlier this week where her BP got to a whopping 202/170.
I do have some control over my body.
In spite of her fear of going down the rabbit hole of anxiety once again in her life, she was able to make such an incredible realization… “I do have some control over my by body.” This epitome was two-fold, as she discovered as she continued talking. Not only was she able in that very scary moment to quiet her mind and body and bring her BP down over the course of two hours but it had also been her actions, or lack there of as she said, to make her self-care a priority, which unfortunately lead to her panic attack.
First of all, talk about a brave and vulnerable thing to admit - bravo! We often take credit for the state of our bodies when we feel we’ve “been good” lately but rarely do we accept the responsibility we have on the other side of the coin. This often is a result of feeling deprived in some way.
This is where the biggest shift happened in my own life and health journey.
For years, doctors had been advising me to cut out gluten from my diet for the sake of my digestive system. This was during the dark ages of gluten-free food choices, folks, and there was no way in hell I was going to give up bagels, cookies, cereal, or god forbid, beer. No way. No how. That felt like an absolute death sentence to me, mentally. Cut to about 15 years later, and one of my organs literally went kaput because I didn’t want to “deprive” myself of gluten. So instead, I deprived my body of an organ… my gall bladder, which was functioning at an astoundingly low 4%.
The choices I was making for so long were in defiance of not wanting to deprive myself of something I enjoyed. As a result, I deprived myself of something far more important. This is where my view of the word “deprive” did a major 180. I stepped out of a space of fear and found freedom.
My coach’s words, “Not going down that road again” were her initial reason when I asked her why making her health a priority was of value to her. Admirable to not want to head back to a world filled with anxiety, sure, but doing it for that specific reason means living in fear every day.
That reasoning would mean she’s doing something to avoid a certain outcome, rather than doing it to create a certain life. These are two incredibly different scenarios and can be the difference between you sinking or swimming as you move toward your goals. For my scenario, every time I see a glutenous doughnut that is just begging me to eat it, I remember my poor defenseless gall bladder, the out of this world pain endured during a year of intense gall attacks, and the zombie I turn into with knives in my abdomen any time gluten now gets into my system. I now live to feel good and it’s a drastic departure from most of my life.
For Sally Sue*, listening her move through what was now becoming clear for her was amazing. She first went to strategy - what could she organize better, manage better - then realized she had no control over that particular element of her life and found clarity in the basic need to clear her head, especially when stress levels are high. She opted for a more calm existence with balance, rather than one pegged in fear. She chose to do mediative work for five minutes every other day during her work week.
Choosing to create the life you are wanting, rather than living to avoid fear, is the difference between living a life that lifts you up and adds value too your existence to one that causes you additional stress. Light yourself up, girl! Live from a source of positivity, from your core values. Kick fear to the curb and watch what happens!